Monday, March 13, 2017

Shyness (خجولة)

There’s one Rose
Distinct from the others
Blossoming exquisitely
In a spacious garden
And its redolence is hovering
Yielding harmony to passerby
Pleasing the singing birdies
And the buzzing bees

None can touch the Rose
For the thorns ’re guarding
And the garden is shielding
While the bees are roving
Fortifying its purity
Against those wild-trespasser
Whose hearts are impure

Neither the thorns
Nor the bees
Can stand the impurities
For the Rose grows
In its bashfulness
Burgeoning in its reticence
Isolated by its shyness
Castling itself
from the smuttiness
There’s this Rose
Whose fragrance
Resembling no others

Bukit Bintang | 9.16PM | 13 March 2017 

The Piano keeps playing the Melody - Yiruma - The Moment

P.S.: Your shyness is your Crown. And that's how these all began..

Grow cactus, live your life.
As God is always with you.

Thursday, March 09, 2017

God is Kind to me

God is kind to me
When He send you
To teach me the word of Love

God is kind to me
When He placed me
In the sanctified womb
Close to your heart
And your heartbeats
Became the melody of mercy
Comforting me, caring for me

God is kind to me
When He fortifies you
To guide me, to be with me
Instilling me with the knowledge of Lord
Leading me to the path of God

God is kind to me
When He led you to me
To lit the candle
When darkness caging me
When fear grasping me

God is kind to me
When He cheered me
With a lovely smile
Crafted on your façade
Washing away
My sorrow and agony

God is kind to me
When He lends me
With His Mercy and Blessing
Through the blessed hands
Hugging me, warming me
When distress roared me

God is kind to me
When He taught me
To love you
To care for you
To always missing you

Oh my Kindest God
Tell me
How would I describe her affection
How do I enumerate her adoration
When You raise her rank
Next to Your Beautiful Name

Oh my Kindest God
Guide me, teach me
To love her, to care for her
As long as my soul and body
Are intertwined
Love you Ammi.
"And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment. His mother carried him with hardship and gave birth to him with hardship, and his gestation and weaning [period] is thirty months. [He grows] until, when he reaches maturity and reaches [the age of] forty years, he says, "My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents and to work righteousness of which You will approve and make righteous for me my offspring. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed, I am of the Muslims"
Quran; 46:15
P.S.: 27 years ago, on this day, my mother gave birth to me. Thank you Allah, for lending her to me in this life and let us gather again in the eternal life, in our Home of Jannah.

P.S.S.: I still remember, when I was 5, my mother used to send me to the kindergarten, and I will cry out laud the moment she dropped me at the front door and turning back to go home.
Written with the melody of Arwen'sVigil by the Piano Guys

the wing of Mercy, the golden key to God's Heaven

Thursday, February 23, 2017


It was an abysmal hole
Murky, pitch-black dent
And I couldn’t see
I was blind
I was behind
When a wild hand grasped
Leading me to a course
Deeper, duskier

It was atrocious
As I saw a blotch
On my tiny heart
From one stain
To another
Consuming my soul
And as my eyes see
But my heart is blind

Then again
My God is Kind
He grabbed me from behind
He guides me to run
Towards a graceful boulevard
Egress from the dark hole

Just like a dying body
He revived me to life
He fixed me aright
He nourishes my heart
And walks by my side
Leaving my soul at peace
And heart at ease.

P.S.: Alhamdulillah. Thank you Allah.
I tripped and You caught me. I fell and You grabbed me. I forgot and You reminded me.

Allah is the ally of those who believe. He brings them out from darknesses into the light. And those who disbelieve - their allies are Taghut. They take them out of the light into darknesses. Those are the companions of the Fire; they will abide eternally therein
 Al-Baqarah; 257

Sunday, February 05, 2017

Far Away

As the wind blowing
And the trees growing
As the birds ’re twittering
And the days fleeting
Routinely running
Uninterruptedly rolling

Amidst the normalcy
There's a heart aching
Longing and wondering
In a dark solitary desert
Created by his own fancy
Walking aimlessly
Searching for a diamond
With a clue but no answer
In his lifelong journey
And again
He stumbled at the juncture

And as the distance
Flaring and broadening
Pushing the wanderer
Away from the shore
Drowning in his own fantasy
In the middle of the ocean
Gasping for air
Leaving him despair
Hoping for a miracle hand
To come and snatch the wanderer
Away from the wilderness

But hey
Who's moving?
You or Him?
As the steps breaking
And the ocean deepening
As he keeps walking
To the opposite route
Away from his God
Forgetting, neglecting
To the unerring veracity
Of the one to be titled
A Creator and a creation
A Master and a slave
And still..
the audacity hitting
You felt far from Him?

وَنَحْنُ أَقْرَبُ إِلَيْهِ مِنْ حَبْلِ الْوَرِيدِ

"and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein"
Qur'an; 50:16

P.S ..written partly in the sky, partly on the earth.

Sunday, September 18, 2016


One of the topics that I am really looking forward to hear is the topic of Repentance. After being inspired by the Talk of Sheikh Yasir Qadhi on Repentance, I would like to write on this topic and share with others. Bismillah.

Being a Muslim does not means that we are free from committing sins. In fact, a human being is prone to commit a sin. Just as our Prophet Muhammad () said in one of his narrations, as narrated by Anas who said:

“All the sons of Adam are sinners…” (Related by At-Tirmidzi and Ibn Majah).

When we commit a sin, some of us will develop a feeling of frustration and defeated. And such feelings will drive us towards sadness and ultimately we become hopeless. We think that our sins are huge that we will be deprived of the Mercy of the One God, Allah. We feel that Shaytaan has already won over us and such humiliation will make us feel even worse.

Sinning is a tool of parting us away from Allah. It can also become a tool to bring us closer to Him. It is a matter of our perception and acceptance. When we let negativity and extreme frustration dwell over us, we are in fact paving a path towards our own destruction.

Frustration over our failure to avoid sin is acceptable. It is in fact what we should be feeling of. With a balance tune, it can be a means of making tawbah. But having an extreme feeling of frustration will turn ourselves into a hopeless state of mind. It will eat up our Iman and will turn us into depression.

If we ever fall into the hole of this, we should always remind ourselves of this beautiful verse from the Qur’an:

“Say, "O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, it is He who is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” Az-Zumar; 53

When we go through each word of the above verse, we can extract an invaluable pearl that can shine our life in this world and ultimately in the hereafter. For me, this verse if full of Rahma and Love. Just read it twice or thrice, and ponder upon it. You will find Allah’s Mercy spreading widely in front of you and you just have to open the door and embark into it. Some scholars said, the widest door you can ever find in Islam is, the door of Repentance. No matter how big our sin is, be it as enormous as the mountain, or even to the sky height, we can always turn to Allah and He will wipe away all of our sins. Just ponder upon the following Hadith Qudsi, where Allah said:

“O son of Adam, as long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I have forgiven you for what you have done and I do not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky and then you would seek My forgiveness, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins that are close to filling the earth and then you would meet Me without ascribing any partners with Me, I would certainly bring to you forgiveness close to filling it.”

Subhanallah! Just see how massive Allah’s Mercy is. One of the beautiful names of Allah is Al-Ghafur (الغفور) which can be roughly translated to “The Forgiver and Hider of Faults”. It is the ‘nature’ of Allah to forgive and he loves to forgive. He loves to forgive us as much as the love of traveler upon finding his lost camel. Just as the Prophet’s saying which was narrated by Anas bin Malik:

Allah's Messenger () said, “Allah is more pleased with the repentance of His slave than anyone of you is pleased with finding his camel which he had lost in the desert.” (Sahih Bukhari)

We often repeat the same sins over and over again and it might be that we feel like “ok that’s it. I am not going to change after all”. Hold on my brothers and sisters. Before we dwell ourselves on this thought, just consider the following Hadith Qudsi:

A servant committed a sin and he said: O Allah, forgive my sin! Allah the Exalted said: My servant has committed a sin and he knows he has a Lord who forgives sins and holds him accountable. Then the servant returned to his sin and he said: O Allah, forgive my sin! Allah said: My servant has committed a sin and he knows he has a Lord who forgives sins and holds him accountable. Then the servant returned to his sin and he said: O Allah, forgive my sin! Allah said: My servant has committed a sin and he knows he has a Lord who forgives sins and holds him accountable, so do what you will for I have forgiven you.

Allahuakbar.. We should cry reading this hadith. Just open our eyes and read it again and again. How can a servant of Allah loses his hope in the forgiveness of Allah when Allah has sent down this hadith? How can we give up upon the Mercy of Allah, when we have such powerful hadith within us? Indeed the true loser is the one who deprive themselves from the Mercy and Forgiveness of Allah. Just think about this – when we feel that we are not a good Muslim and we can never be forgiven, we are actually saying that we know Allah better than Allah knows Himself. It’s like we are saying that Allah is incapable of forgiving us. Allahuakbar, what a great slander against Allah?? How can we judge Allah as incapable of forgiving our sins when He said by himself that He is At-Tawwab and Al-Ghaffar? Allah himself declared in Surah Al-Ghafir verse 3 that he is “The Forgiver of sin, Acceptor of repentance,..”

Thus, it is encumbered upon us to seek the forgiveness of Allah day and night. When we are riding our bike, or driving our car, or sitting in a train, moist our tongue with the seeking of Allah’s forgiveness - اَسْتَغْفِرُ اَللّهَ الْعَظِیْمَ (I Seek the forgiveness of Allah). Remember this hadith – “All the sons of Adam are sinners, but the best of sinners are those who repent often.” (Related by At-Tirmidzi and Ibn Majah) So let us be the best of sinners and elevate ourselves closer to Allah, The Forgiver of all sins.

A note to myself. May Allah forgives all of my sins. 

Saturday, September 17, 2016


Throughout the years
He’s been rambling
Wandering unaccompanied
From one orchard to another
Aimlessly eyeing for something
As though he has got the centuries
He was probed
By the folks
When will the two legs discontinuing
Taking the next step of roving
In one of those gardens
As though the elongated journey
Doesn’t tire him
As he striding hastily
Picking one flower
Over the other
But all keep fading
And the smell seems reeking
Leaving his hand impure
And his heart fragmented
Shattering his infinite hope
Of holding the veracious flower
The journey does tire him
To crave a new step
In each moment of time
Seems like
Wishing the snow
To stop falling
In the freezing winter
There's always spring after winter
Day after a long restless night
Light at the end
of every dark tunnel
And a destination to every journey
And as his two legs gridlocked
Seeking for a shelter
At an exquisite orchard
Where beautiful flowers blossoming
And the essences are like jewels
Decorating the air
Pleasing him and those around
And today
As the sun merrily shining the day
and the chirping birds
are flying with a melody
He sent the blessed hands
To reserve the green flower
For a sacred day to come
For him to stop roaming around
And holding the veracious flower
Planting it gracefully 
in a house called Home

"Jise zindagi dhoondh rahi hai
Kya ye woh makaam mera hai
Yahaan chain se bas ruk jaaun
Kyun dil ye mujhe kehta hai"

17 September 2016

Monday, September 12, 2016


It was an awkward meeting
Just like the heavy rains
That fall in the midst
of sweaty summer

Though it was a small table
the distance seems like
We were at the two ends
of the world

And just like a good soldier
I was fully equipped
To stride in the chamber
To shoot and be shot
With queries and answers

But everything vanished
As words miss its vowel
And mind lost its calmness
Heartbeats were gasping
As if I was running
Chasing my own silhouette 
When these two eyeballs
Fall upon the thorny Rose
Fresh and untouchable
As if it was raised 
In a King's orchard
Guarded and shielded

As I was stepping in the Garden
Heart keeps battling the eyes
To behold the Majestic
beauty of the Rose
or lowering my wild gaze

As the Rose is blossoming
And as its petals shining
Wrapping itself with shyness
Leaving the thorns guarding
Its chastity and decency
Just as the Queen's red guards
Faithfully shielding the Rose
And at that very moment
I chose to look away

It was a brief meeting
But carries a lifetime meaning
Leaving the Rose's fragrance
Roaming around the air
Giving me a reason
To craft a new step
Treading to the King's garden
And humbly request for
The Blossoming Rose
To be placed in my Garden
And burgeoning here eternally

Written while in a journey
AidilAdha 2016 | 5.30PM

heart singsonging a lullaby - Yiruma : Spring Time